The earlier photos helped me to see who I am beyond the scars because the mirror was showing "Dermatillomania" instead of "Angie". I was able to see that every feature shown was mine- but I needed to see the touched-up images first before I could appreciate the ones that were all me. Nearing the end of 2012 I made the decision that most of my future modeling will be for the BFRB cause. I am past needing perfection because there is true beauty in flaws... it is proof that we are real. I may have one or two touched-up images from a set, but the majority will be to encourage everyone to stop hating their bodies and what they cannot control. (*written before recovery was offered to me*)
After being on "The Doctors", Angela received treatment for 12 weeks with Karen Pickett and broke free of Dermatillomania's cycle. Now in recovery, she is more determined than ever to ensure that every sufferer of a Body-Focused Repetitive Behavior can gain local access to affordable, and reliable treatment. With evolving body image that once hit at an all-time low, she now wants to use her body as a tool to combat society's definition of "beauty", "worthiness", and "acceptable" while taking risks to make people rethink how they feel about their bodies. Why do we hate ourselves so much? Is commercialism to blame? Along with photography that challenges people to fight the higher standards thrown on us, Angela will explore ways of expressing what recovery- and suffering- looks like in its honesty. She has realized that her body was never the issue- it was part of the solution.
Before recovery and early into my advocacy years, modeling was a way outside of the mental health system for me to find peace within myself since many of my insecurities came from the perception of my appearance- namely my scars. I needed to see them removed digitally before I could really see the young woman who was hiding beneath them. I could only see wounds and scars in the mirror, not a real deserving person. It has been therapeutic for my self-esteem, my sense of self, and as an outlet for self-expression.
N- Acetyl Cysteine has shown significant improvements in people with Trichotillomania. In a study, 56% of people had improvements whereas the placebo trial held only 16% improvement. <a href=\"http://www.trich.org/dnld/NACarticle_InTouch55_rev.pdf\">http://www.trich.org/dnld/NACarticle_InTouch55_rev.pdf</a> is a great place to start to read about the studies done. I\'m embarking on my own journey to see if I can show any improvements.
Some shots relating to the documentary, \"Scars of Shame\". I went on a trip to San Francisco to be a part of the Trichotillomania Learning Center\'s 20th Anniversary Conference. I met hair-pullers, fellow skin-pickers, and specialists while attending workshops where I also learned more about Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors (BFRB\'s).